BEAUTIFUL MIND

The other day I went to the beauty parlour to get my eyebrows trimmed and to cut my hair. The parlour is very close to my house. It is run by an unfriendly Tamilian, but why I choose to go her in spite of her apparent rude ways is because it saves me a drive or walk to the next parlour that's about 1 km away from my house.

I entered the small but comfortable looking parlour. The owner looked up from her desk and gestured to her assistant who was barely 17 years old to switch on the air-conditioner. She obliged. I could sigh at her customer service! You'll soon know why!

She raised her eyebrows that meant "What do you want?"

I said "Trim my eyebrows and give me a haircut"

She made me wait for 10 minutes (which I spent reading glossy women's magazines) and then came to me. She asked me to sit on a chair, it looked like the one that dentists usually ask their patients to sit on.

While she started she said "Your skin is very oily".

I said "May be, I don't know".

"You don't know?! Do you at least know that you have blackheads on your nose?"

"May be, I have not noticed".

"You should try our new herbal facial treatment"

"May be I will, next time", I said, politely.

After about 7 minutes she said she was done.

She quickly moved to my hair.

The moment she felt it she remarked "Your hair is very dry".

There she goes again! "Ohhh!" I managed.

"You should try our oil massage".

"Hmmmmm... not now, I'm in a hurry".

She was done with my hair in a while. I paid her and quickly walked out.

I stepped into my home and rushed to the mirror.... I felt miserable!

My mother entered and said "You look lovely today! A day at the beauty salon?"

"Lovely? But what about my blackheads?"

"Blackheads? What blackheads?"

I hugged my mother in relief! Now didn't someone say "Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder"

PLEASH DON'T DISHTURB!

The story you are about to read is absolutely true and any resemblance to any person very much alive is completely deliberate.

Last week I had the misfortune of visiting a Central Government Office.

Day: Monday

Time: 10.45 a.m.

I enter this drab office and people (read staff) looked from behind their desks stared at me and quickly moved to whatever it was they were doing (includes reading newspaper, playing solitaire on the computer, reading new film reviews and connected work).

I headed to the desk of the Official I wanted to meet. Presumably, she was not in her seat. I enquired the people in the next cabin - two people were sitting behind the same computer and were gazing at something. Officer 1 behind the desk looked up. Officer 2's eyes fell on me. Officer 3 from another computer stared and fearing any question from my side, quickly looked away.

I looked at all of them and waited for them to ask me something. They did not.

I decided to start the conversation. By the way, I forgot to tell you why I was there at this office - I simply had to deliver a document and get a seal and signature from Official 4 - the one who was not in her seat.

Me to Official 1: Where is Official 4?

Official 1 to Official 2: I don't think she's come yet.

Official 2 to Official 1: No, I think she has came.

Official 3 to Me: She has come. Her bag is there on that seat, you see? (I nodded) She's gone to have coffee. Please wait she'll come.

Without being offered a seat, I decided to sit, this was going to take some time.

I sat down and did what everybody else did when they are asked to wait in an office, looked around.

3 computers, chairs, telephones, papers, papers and more papers....

2 people walked into the cabin and behaved as if I were invisible!

They took their seats (or I assumed were their seats)

One of them Officer 5 opened his telephone diary and moved his chair closer to the telephone. I thought he's ACTUALLY WORKING, POOR THING!

Officer 5 on the Phone: Hello! XYZ Gas Agency? Consumer No. 38421. ...... Yes...... Oh 3 days?..... Thank you!

My heart sunk! Is there someone in this office who works?

Time: 11.30 a.m.

Officer 4 enters, stares at me....

Me: Hi! I have come to deliver this document to you and get an acknowledgement!

Officer 4 takes the document from me scans it.

Officer 4: But I don't take care of this! He does! and pointed to Officer 1

I was enraged!

Me: But I have....

Officer 4 interrupted: You can hand it over to him!

I knew there was no point in arguing with her!

I walked to Officer 1 delivered the document and took his acknowledgement.

Time: 12.00 noon.

Long live their efficiency!!!

THE HANDSOME TAMIL SON

Last evening I had gone to watch a Tamil Film - title I choose to keep anonymous (poor people they spend so much on the locales they shoot songs in, the hero's clothes could cost a fortune and the heroine's barely covers her essentials). I am actually an arm-chair movie-goer (if you can call people who merely read reviews of films in every newspaper possible and hardly see one film a year that). But yesterday was the second film I saw this year (because the tickets to this one was free - was of the preview kind!!). Let me tell you about the film. The film is titled something about the hero that hardly matches his personality - he fights like a fool, talks like an idiot, dances like he's being paid only for it. (No No I'm not telling you the title....) The film was about a hero with ESP (called in films Extra Sensory Perception.... I doubt if he even had a normal sensory perception....:)

The film went on and on and on and after two and a half hours someone desperately asked "But isn't the film over about half an hour ago"? I could only smile after the lights were on along with everybody else and you know why.... I didn't spend anything on the tickets!